auctor

  I find myself anointed By the black tears of my survivals Is my judgement so beyond repair? That the weight of my prejudice rests on a hundred heads?  I'm struck by these arrows of gold The chivalry starts to grow old  And my ill-temper may never see the pink of health again My cedar desk holds my tears like grime  For over twenty years and a thousand nights As the chill winds itself on my spine like a snake I thank the heavens for my vixen like grace I sleep soundly with my armored soul locked in a bottle The jackals with their black sands wait in the dusk of the shadows No amount of sunshine washes away the dark night I walk into Full throttle, sailing the untamed oceans, they leave me battered and bruised I'm hit by these bullets of gold Ricocheted off the wall and they fall to the floor My burnt favors and scarlet letters  Line the inside of my tomb of stone My cushioned fall grieves the death of my valor Played hard to get, watched my love life shatter I ...

  My heart knocks against the rosewood floors My lips kiss the tips of my bloodied fingers  The Excalibur pushed deep into my spine Screaming "Forever, does your fate remain condemned to mine" I saw death as a dream, a vibrant, scintillating and permanent being An avalanche of implosions to cease the twinkling of fairy lights in my periphery The smoke forecasts the wreck that leaves me a breathless, heart ached mess And under the rug, does it sweep the ashes of the memory of the rest I couldn't save the heat that singed my frozen skin I lay awake running in quicksand in a sleepless lucid dream  Barefoot in the puddle of my sweat on the rotten rosewood It gave me back the colour I shuddered off in the battle I've masqueraded my fear that shines like a beacon of life They keep the rusted keys to my kingdom buried under a dauntless guise I waltz like a blushing phantom shown warmth for the first time I glide across the deserted ballroom into arms so alluring its an arche...

The mulberry moonshine dances fierce and wild  A crimson supernova buried under a festering appetite My poisoned self-induced guilt amplifies my preaching sirens  A haunting vacancy sinks deep in the blues of my mournings I can't say I haven't tried to walk the line All my blinding silver linings turned to dusk at the drop of a dime In the frigid breeze I'm frozen far beyond reach I'm counting on the ravens to take away these false memories I'm anointed by my temptation to follow through on my sinful mind I've cried invisible tears in the black of the dark night I stare at the one picture of me that doesn't make me hate myself And burn through my bones, how I felt at that very moment These lethal overdrives line the bottom of my coffin Whispering that I made it here by a happenstance reunion I wish I could be two people or more  And maybe then my mind would be less of a burden I push people away because I fear I may be torture And for the first time in my li...

 I've been crying too much now-a-days Black tears stain my satin beige gaze What were we going to say? That our stars misaligned in some mysterious way? That's the problem with the superficial love That everybody seems to want Skin tight hugs and kisses Everyone wants to be a part of it Only a few weeks ago we were invisible Struck by lightning we ended up a tragedy, passive and whole Truth is sometimes I forget how I thought it would be worth it There were so many critical lights shining on us and rabid Every step we took would be compared to a crook And it would last long enough to cause a scandal and accuse me of holding a grudge That's the problem with the superficial love That everybody seems to want Skin tight hugs and kisses Everyone wants to be a part of it Only a few weeks ago we were invisible Struck by lightning we ended up a tragedy, passive and whole Are we every Hollywood front page story Hiding from flashlight impromptu glory We leave a trail broken hearts, f...

Based On: The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel They say it's hard to be lonely in New York City I've ridden every ride Coney Island had to offer me The haunted forest in my eyes and my deep throated lies Have left me waving back at you as go over the line All the sounds sound like deep regret I feel my name etched onto the carpet This feels so familiar and a stench of fear creeps through But it smells so new, this can't be déjà vu I've seen those dark clouds before They turn sanguine with your vocal timbre I feel them flashing black and blue Curse you and your déjà vu The midnight air doesn't help one bit it makes me wish I stayed home instead Now I wear my hair down and let it cover my ears Every body says reminders are fractured memories You need to put together even if it takes forever, don't let go of the leash You can't seem to slow down and my heart's trying to keep up with you That feeling is so familiar and the stench of fear creeps through But it smells so...

  I'm haunted by the maroon aftertaste That settles to the bottom of my discretion When my candor turns as unforgiving as bottled treason Does my self- inflicted ego bruise my prudence? It wouldn't change, it would've stayed that way Pass me up for mistakes I never made You wouldn't understand The mind of a reverse psychopath Do the ashes of my rage settle on my aging wisdom? Does it walk away dressed like over confidence? I wish my empathy would stop assuming That I'm the worst part of every thing It wouldn't change, it would've stayed that way What do I want to hear? And what do I need to be said? I'm depending on these people, tying their hands behind their backs I preached about life's difficulties, but here I am  Pretending mine take the lead because I don't say anything Forever afraid to be left behind, I wish for other dreams Do I pretend these words haven't echoed since that day? Do I scrutinize my attachment just for accountability...