After All, What Was It All For?

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I was 23, tracing the lines in the cobblestones 

Tapping heels in the reds of midsummer dawn

I foretold the reckoning in my sleep

I tamed my complacency till it made me bleed


"Fear is attachment", I say with an accent

So you'll ignore what I mean

Is this the yearning they said, would kill me

In my deepest sleep?


I can't seem to quiet the seething rage

I extinguished a long time ago

After all, what was it all for?

An antithetical road that led me away from home?

Never met in the middle but tossed out as a compulsive know- it all


We were orbiting in concentric circles

Lovesickness cut the invisible string

I hoped your moon would have never met my Saturn

But the collision was inevitable


I say "Only an infidelity like this

Could change the way I breathe"

But if my end is prophesied

I still control the means


I ran full speed into an invisible wall

Just as I was reaching the finish line

After all, what was it all for?

An antithetical road that led me away from home?

Never met in the middle but tossed out as a compulsive know- it all


It was my quest for peace

That drove the wedge between 

My belonging and sincerity

And if all I needed was to be good

My petulance got the best of me

Because who knew covert decency

Was chronic animosity in disguise


So I bought all of my feelings

But still kept the receipts

After all, what was it all for?

An antithetical road that led me away from home?

Never met in the middle but tossed out as a compulsive know- it all.


-auctor

May 20th 2025


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