The Lighthouse - ALCHEMICAL

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I should've swallowed the key
That kept us locked inside the haze
If it would ruin us anyway

I could've sworn
There was a way to keep it safe
Without forgetting how these ends make

I wouldn't mind
Biting down on the knife
I could've waited
Forever for the golden light
I never felt a blow like this
Bruising the edges of my edifice

If you wait out the riptide
You'll grow too heavy
And you'll fade into time
Like every bad memory
Trading time for another
Chance to stay buried
To watch it all fall in place
Like it always has been

They waste my time
Tell me "I'll never learn"
My bloodshot eyes
Your cold return
I turn the key 
Unlock my poisoned pride
Will you ever ask?
How I came back to life

I set my body adrift 
With every bone I picked
Condemned to swim against the waves

Bereft of the faith
You said I'd find if I had stayed
I took this patience to my grave

And all at once
I lose my grip
Watch you fall without me
Like I flipped the switch
My gospel truth
Is I was sorry
You'd have to read between
The lines in my apology

My ego tamed like the lion
That roared too bravely
I lost the weight on my head
Trying to sail the high seas
You brought a peace so divine
It was unsettling
Maybe my warnings to you
Were unnecessary

When my frigid soul
Threw yours to the wolves 
My vanity kept me in the loop
I took the pill
It worked instantly
It left a mark so dark and embarrassing

I'm terrified, I'll meet you again
Can't pretend, I don't known you that well
You won't laugh at all my jokes
They're not funny anymore
If I reference all our conversations
Know the lighthouse shone like it was alchemical
If I'm calling for a truce
Forgive my candour, it's still new

It's all so bitter sweet
These passing feelings
I know it all too well
It doesn't hurt my sleep
I forget how it
Used to make me feel
If I lost something
I'd never earn it back for free

These silent calls
I make into the night
The rusted lines
And convoluted lies
I recklessly 
Choke on my pride
I pray my faith restored
Like I'm still a child

And this lighthouse
Will remain haunted
By who I used to be
Before the sands of time settled
Change without pain
Isn't a life worth having
Struck gold with the thorns
That left my bleeding gilded.


-auctor


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