The End of All Endings - ALCHEMICAL

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May this have been my only chance
I wasted what I thought was a happenstance
So I search for a wilder twist of fate
And promise the Gods I will behave

I prepare myself for that fateful day
When the Sun might set on my fermented shame
I'll down a bottle of confidence
Like the last three months haven't belittled my faith

I fall through the cracks that I made with my fist
Holding on with the hope I have yet to break in
And watch as the endings sequentialize
Into episodes of torment because without it who am I?

I sit with my book alone on the beach
I couldn't tell you which chapter I'd been reading
At the eye of my spiral played my favorite film
All my dried tears sparkle like it was all a gift

It could've been something I cherished for life
It made me tremble because I never thought twice
It's left me wanting to bring color to my face
These black and white dreams aren't for the brave

I touched the white grass and froze this grief in time
Buried like the hatchets I could dig up anytime
Any ounce of kindness from a stranger is my bane
I've cherished my attachment, because what if I can't find it again?

My mascara leaves an impression I will never unsee
My nails leave indentations where my face could breathe
My footprints disappear like the dust in the wind
A chance to wish for a new beginning

All these endings I wrote for no reason
I can never seem to find a proper conclusion
I wipe the lipstick off my face and untie my hair
Find solace in my sheets and my cold November air

I choose the end of all endings that couldn't care
If I showed up half wounded but proud as hell
These little bloody battles and scratched armor faired
Well enough to find a place I wouldn't remember, even if I cared.


-auctor


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