SOS - the aftermath

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I was tied to a leash and you held the other end
I followed in your footsteps, you were my heaven and hell
Fifteen years and it ended in twenty minutes
I'm so glad you could say goodbye but I still wish I could've stopped time

I'm just a desperate soul, painted as a liar
My heart beats slow, motionless hope
I'm a cherished dream, hard to remember me
My heart beats slow, "SOS" in morse code

Your scalding screams, my soulful cries
You said it was just another fight
But it tore me up and drowned me thrice
Each time I woke, you saw me through different eyes
Our twisted fear, intertwined
Our cold relief, engulfed in violet fires
They burn me slow, I've felt it at the pier
They hunt you down, arrow left inside

My home is a shrine to your spirit
And I'm the bishop speaking in prayers
I sleep on the right side of the bed
Back against where you used to place your head

You fade into the blue silence behind my eyes
They adjust to the darkness, and my heartfelt lies
Comfort finds me twirling in madness
In my best dress, death midnight black and bloodless

A full eclipse, gave me back my sight
A throbbing pain on all my sides
A rusting fall from a falcon flight
They always said look on the sunny side
A promised wake, coffins side by side
The selfish game, is always played right
It should've been me who died
It it wasn't the end, why did my life flash by?

I worshipped you, my king of heaven
All my time felt sacrificial
I memorized your jokes, now I laugh at them alone
I can afford another scandal 
A phantom waltz, falling in tandem
Are you too proud of a ghost to haunt your old home? 

They sell me tears to make me cry 
The alchemist bottles every sigh
Every man I see, is your lookalike
Every touch I feel is a waste of life
They pour me a glass, of forget me-nots 
They hold me high and curse my luck
I sold my memories to the highest bidder
A righteous end for a deserting flower. 



-auctor


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