auctor

Every time I was pushed outside the circle  I said, "Well now I have a better point of  view" They used to jump through the hoops I used to crawl under Got left behind cleaning the mud off my boots I used to believe God saves his sweetest conspiracies for his favorites I ended up starving for attention by being everybody's friend But in reality I was just a tabloid always a day too old on the news Got over wrung out and was left to dry out wrinkled and over used Over time I fed on the sadness of my friends To everything in the world, I could relate Sorrow, misery, nothing and everything  In a single year, I had a taste  Frightened yet lonely, I sought my own company And built a castle out of the clouds in my head Imperfections polished and armor tarnished  Suddenly I stopped being myself As I look back on how far I have come The bruises have blossomed into violets Even though I am three steps ahead of it  I can still feel that fire burning  I was held ...

I'm losing hope, my thrills are bored  The curtains low, I wake up alone You're known for chasing after short term sapphire pleasures While I'm dreaming us in search of something far better Not me crying blue to you in scarlet letters That you throw into fires to make your new home warmer Tell me what I did wrong? Did I scream out too loud?  Tell me what I did wrong? When in the act you were caught I'm dancing barefoot in your dreams, ankle deep in the weeds and you know I can't stop  Tell me what I did wrong? And I will lose it all I pray for you, every night something new I haven't got a clue, but I know what I need from you While I was consuming myself with all my darkest thoughts I went down a rabbit hole I knew I couldn't get out of Your silence is punishing enough now I beg you to stop Or wait till my voice breaks down from calling on you for so long  And it's a twisted mark that reminds you're lost in it all Tell me what I did wrong? Did I scr...

I'm drowning in a pool of your affection  But it's left me withered and wrinkled  Am I destined to succumb to this fragility Or is this one of the million obstacles that have hit me?  Loving is draining, a dissipation of what I must give myself  But it's the chaos that keeps me grounded  And the flatulence that keeps me real I don't have what it takes to love you as you are A tiring contemplation, to decide which parts I can and cannot I don't mean to be cruel, but being kinder to myself is taking it's toll  I can't entertain you for as long as I could before Because the longer I stay, the more I want to go You're so undeniably yourself suddenly, and I don't know who you are anymore Loving is draining, a dissipation of what I must give myself  But it's the chaos that keeps me grounded  And the flatulence that keeps me real I don't have what it takes to love you as you are A tiring contemplation, to decide which parts I can and cannot But what...

2.30 am, the world outside is dead And I am frozen in my own dreamland Rose scented candles, placed on every mantel Love is the only arson, done with good intention There's a storm coming and the quiet is telling me how I could survive it but is it what I really want now? All the vultures circling my head tell me my reputation is dead What I want now doesn't really matter All I want now is to have mattered My violet orchids and your undisputed Haunted mannerisms that leave me helpless My fingers shaking and your hands solid Brave the aftermath, because that's when you lose focus I'm perusing the wreckage and trying to figure out How my stars and planets aligned enough to get me out All the vultures circling my head tell me my reputation is dead What I want now doesn't really matter All I want now is to have mattered You wouldn't believe my flowers were once thorns All my cups were empty now they're overflowing gold I couldn't give up my sleep to sche...

They were whispers in the dark  Your voice played like a melody in my heart My dreams were a diary of your memories The only living soul who knew what you could've been You had a life so full and bustling  And I was glad to just be a part of it  Amongst the confetti there was a constant overbearing A daunting voice saying this wouldn't last I counted my blessings and you a hundred times A hurt locker I've been trapped in too many times But now I swallow the key and allow myself to feel Every shred of grief that will keep you forever with me You had a life so dauntless and thrilling A hundred last chances for anyone deserving  Kindness is paid for a legacy worth celebrating Amongst the confetti and constant suffering As you make your way to the golden gates And climb these stairs to take your place  Know your life wasn't some rare happenstance It hangs around my neck like a locket that can never be tarnished As you settle into the afterlife  Know your life w...