Pensive - STARDUST

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I've been dealing with so much uncertainty it's killing me
Have I lit the matches and set myself on fire 
So I can burn brighter than I ever have before
In a dim lit setting everyone looks like a star and I don't feel really special
I'm relying on the universe to guide me through this

Holding back salty waterfalls is not as easy as it sounds
I can hurt everyone I know and make them look worse than I was before
But it catches up to me like a river on the verge of colliding 
And I have no choice but to sail through it because I brought this upon myself
And consequence isn't known to know mercy, not even for itself

I've mentally broken so many bones and fixed them with tape 
But I feel their robust fragility through my skin 
And no matter how well I hide it I'll always know it's there 
A terrifying reminder, a boiling bath and a room with fading air 
Is all it takes to want to disappear and fall right into the carpet tears

I'm switching sides because my favorite songs are on different sides of a record 
I'm playing nice but my claws are itching to tear them apart
The blemishes on my face and the code that clicks and opens up a tidal wave 
There's too much to fix and and such little time before I'll have to start again
And so I jump into the pensive pool again and again to drown them all away 



-auctor

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