clean - wildest winter

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Is it true that winters tend to leave you bruised? 
And out in the sun does it sting more than it should? 
It's like I'm in a new place, all I see are new faces
Even the ones I've known for years, treat me like an outsider

And did I cling onto the wings of hope
In the hope that they may carry me home? 

Yes I did 
Yes I believed in every story that comforted me
And if you're not the kind of man
Who thinks that all it takes is faith to survive
Then what's the point

And maybe I fell prey to every scam
And maybe I've lost who I am
But at least I've still got some hope left in me

And maybe it doesn't take too much
To fix the leaks and mop it all up
At least I've still got enough hope to see
That being a mess means you were once clean

Is it true what they say frostbite does to you? 
Sinks its teeth in like you're an apple, immediately ruined
But you spat me out like old food left out to rot
Can't you see that at least you had something on the table

And did I cling onto the walls
In the hope I could bring them down? 

Yes I did 
Yes I believed in every story that comforted me
And if you're not the kind of man
Who thinks that all it takes is faith to survive
Then what's the point 

And maybe I fell prey to every scam
And maybe I've lost who I am
But at least I've still got some hope left in me

And maybe it doesn't take too much
To fix the leaks and mop it all up
At least I've still got enough hope to see
That being a mess means you were once clean

I bet you didn't know how unhappy I was
Standing at the edge of the world
Ready for everything to tip over
What was the point of this charade
What was the point of false accolades

I bet you don't know how much I threw out
Polished every inch of this house
Paid attention to the tarnished edges
Tore away the rust stained boxes
Until all that was left was a tiny piece of me
Hiding in a corner playing games with your periphery

And did I leave dusty footprints on the shelves
Because I just can't help myself? 

Yes I did 
Yes I believed in every story that comforted me
And if you're not the kind of man
Who thinks that all it takes is faith to survive
Then what's the point 

And maybe I fell prey to every scam
And maybe I've lost who I am
But at least I've still got some hope left in me

And maybe it doesn't take too much
To fix the leaks and mop it all up
At least I've still got enough hope to see
That being a mess means you were once clean. 

-Neha Bhende




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