the citadel - haven

I've believed in myself too many times

And I've been convinced that I'm always right

I've trusted the wrong people and they've trusted me

I've broken people's hearts, unintentionally

But when everything hits, it's written on the walls

It's in every newspaper and I've read them all

I wish I didn't mean something's I've said

Years later that conversation is dead

I'm going to hide in my citadel

The one place I can be myself

Even if I try

There's going to be that night

When I just can't help but cry

Everyone's so used to seeing me like this

It gets worse if I change things up a bit

So I'm going to hide in my citadel

With no more stories to tell

I've played with my feelings, but with the wrong hand

I've criticised the good and kept secrets for the bad

I spilt the tea like I made it, watched it burn through the ground

I was safe in my fortress, why did I have to step out

But when everything hits, it's written on the walls

It's in every newspaper and I've read them all

I wish I didn't mean something's I've said

Years later that conversation is dead

I'm going to hide in my citadel

The one place I can be myself

Even if I try

There's going to be that night

When I just can't help but cry

Everyone's so used to seeing me like this

It gets worse if I change things up a bit

So I'm going to hide in my citadel

With no more stories to tell

If everything ends well, in pleasurable hell

That's when I know I've redeemed myself

I'll be lying on the floor, unaffected the cold

So glad I shut all the doors

I'm gonna hide in my citadel

Close the door on every ill fated thing I did. 

-Neha Bhende