Morality- Stories From the Afterlife

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Based On: "These Are Their Stories" from Law and Order: Special Victims Unit

I can't leave my house alone
For the fear I might not return
I've therpaized the only child in me that still seems to have some hope

There are too many obstacles
To call it a coincidence
I feel myself being plotted against amidst the war of worlds

Your playing field was an expanse of sea
And I sailed it unwarily
You lent a friendly hand to me
Now I wish you hadn't
Through the highest tide 
I now swim with the sharks
In the waters uncharted
Until they believe I'm one of them

I couldn't recall your face
Even after they asked me a 100 times
I could sense them believing that I was lying 
To get someone on my side

I drift to the edge of life
Unsure if I want to be saved
For if I have to live with being violated for the rest of my life, 
I don't want to

I haven't gotten used to the new me yet
I'm tossing coins to decide my fate
But now the fountain is full and it's begging me to recuperate

Your playing field was an expanse of sea
And I sailed it unwarily
You lent a friendly hand to me
Now I wish you hadn't
Payment for assisting me
Something worth more than money
I thought a no was enough so I plead
For my own insanity


You let my smile feel like a curse to make me spite my face
You carefully twisted my faith like the knife etched in my back
I keep having dreams about the waves that devoured me
They tossed me and turned me in my sleep
Do I pretend I'm not living enough just so I don't get hurt? 
Or do I unleash every beast that's itching to take what you took from me
You poisoned my life today and I'll lose it someday
And I will still be the only one to blame

Your playing field was a net at sea
And I swam into it regrettably
It was you who came after me
And I wish you hadn't
Through the pain and crying
I'm right here surviving
Forgiveness is key 
But I threw mine in the sea

I haven't met the new me yet
I'm sorting my morality
I want to feel bad, but you don't deserve that
I deserve to be mad forever

I have to live feeling incomplete
And only glad I'm still breathing
There's no bright side to what you did to me
No there isn't
Through the storm at sea
I'll keep swimming
Because I can't fight fear with redemption. 


-Neha Bhende


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