auctor

I took the bullet for my convictions It went through clean and bled me dry  A forced indictment and lonely suffering I'm desperate enough to say I was lying I could let this flow down the river  Take me with you I beg I can't remember Why the only nights I forget are the ones that stole my breath And the daze I know like the back of my hand  Capture the storm I set loose by blaming the deck Enough to let me know I'm making a fool of myself I trust the scarlet letters because I wrote them What was supposed to be a healthy confession Is now the weight I have to prove was always there And not some petty vendetta that's outgrown it's shell I could let this flow down the river  Take me with you I beg I can't remember Why the only nights I forget are the ones that stole my breath And the daze I know like the back of my hand  Capture the storm I set loose by blaming the deck Enough to let me know I'm making a fool of myself I am reasonable where it matters Why must...

I've stolen kisses from wilted roses to remind me of you How can I give myself to someone else when my soul is torn in two My purple fingertips leave my memory on your wrists You can scrape them off but you'll still feel me holding on as long as I live I've been looking for you my holy grail of sadness   Something to indicate that all this has been worth it Half empty drinks, even to you I can't commit I'm like a lighthouse, a golden beacon guiding to me sinking ships I've stolen cold embraces from icy lakes just to feel again what I got from you I'm glitter shoes stepping into everybody's pool of blue I get emotional when your waters stain my soul forevermore I turn disdainful when they suck out everything and leave my shores  I've been looking for you my holy grail of sadness  Something to indicate that all this has been worth it Half empty drinks, even to you I can't commit I'm like a lighthouse, a golden beacon guiding to me sinking ships...

I know I did, come by your place too many times Solar eclipse, the light shining on all of my fault lines Did I exist, in between my moments of summit and my downtrodden plummet? But if you did, I know it was you who held onto the thread when I tried to cut it  All I know is all it takes is a friend To tell you they know how much it aches to exist somedays  When your cheek hits the ground, it makes no sound and there's no one to help you up All I know is all it takes is a friend To lie down next to you and say go ahead I'll cry about it too if you do It's just something, I've been meaning to say for a while Tried several times, wasted so much paper on bad lines It's taken me a while, five years is a really long time It was the second of July, now it's every moment passing by I remember crying in the back of a taxi I never thought I'd be like that  A hundred reasons to say I'm unhappy I don't ever want to go back to that All our tattoos are imaginary ...

It took me a little longer to come around than you thought And I'm hoping it doesn't cause a catastrophic row You're treading lightly and I understand I haven't taken kindly to your many mishaps But all is forgotten but never forgiven Understand why I'm hesitant, my trust is still wounded I can see us reveling in cliffside reveries The scars faded enough to be an ethereal memory Its taken too long for me to see your point of view You're soldiering on, the damage control has got to you You're pretty sure all your hair will turn white Before you're confident enough to say we're alright But all is forgotten but never forgiven Understand why I'm hesitant, my trust is still wounded I can see us reveling in cliffside reveries The scars faded enough to be an ethereal memory I'm fairly certain you've rewired my mind You used to be the devil, now you're the holy angel on my side I'm cryptic enough to let you uncover the truth Despondency t...